Monday, March 30, 2009

Let the River Run Deep

From my Desiring God newsletter this morning:

I have always felt that the works of the famous British New Testament scholar, F. F. Bruce, are unnecessarily dry. In reading his memoirs, In retrospect, I discovered one of the reasons why. He said, "I do not care to speak much--especially in public--about the things that mean most to me."1 When you eliminate what means most to you from your writing and speaking, they will be dry. For myself, I would say just the opposite: "I do not care to speak much--especially in public--about the things that don't mean most to me."

This raises a question that is larger than the relative transparency of our souls. It raises the question about the way in which deep emotions can be expressed in public. What is the place of spontaneity and form in venting the passions of one's heart? This is more of a problem for me than for Bruce. That's one reason I moved from teaching in college to preaching in the church. I assume passion has a big place in the life of a preacher. So maybe my ruminations on how Jeremiah handles emotions in the Book of Lamentations will fit your soul too.

I will make two observations about "The Lamentations of Jeremiah" and then draw out some implications for the use of spontaneity and form in the expression of "what means most to us."

First, Lamentations is a deeply emotional book. Jeremiah writes about what means most to him, and he writes in agony. He feels all the upheaval of Jerusalem in ruins. There is weeping (1:2), desolation (1:4), mockery (1:7), groaning (1:8), hunger (1:11), grief (2:11), and the horrid loss of compassion as mothers boil their own children to eat them (2:20; 4:10). If there ever was intensity and fervor in the expression of passion from the heart, this is it.

The second observation, then, comes as a surprise: This seems to be the most formally crafted book in the Old Testament. Of the five chapters, chapters 1, 2, and 4 are each divided into twenty-two stanzas (the number of letters in the Hebrew alphabet), and each stanza begins with a different letter of the alphabet. They are three acrostics.

Chapter 3 is even more tightly structured. Again there are twenty-two stanzas, but now each stanza has exactly three lines. The three lines in each stanza begin with the same letter, and each of the twenty-two stanzas begins with a different letter in alphabetical order.

This is the only chapter that is not an acrostic. But it still has twenty-two lines in conformity with the acrostic pattern of chapters 1-4. Now what do these two observations imply? First, they imply that genuine, heartfelt expression of our deepest emotions does not require spontaneity. Just think of all the mental work involved in finding all the right words to construct four alphabetical acrostics!

What constraint, what limitation, what submission to form! Yet what passion and power and heart! There is no necessary contradiction between form and fire.

Chapter 3 of Lamentations is the most personal and most intense. Here first-person references abound: "Remember my affliction and my wanderings, the wormwood and the gall!" (3:19). Here the peak of hope is reached: "Great is your faithfulness!" (3:23). But here the author submits himself to the narrowest form in all the book.

After reading Lamentations, we can no longer believe that unpondered prayers are more powerful or real or passionate or heartfelt or genuine or alive than prayers that are thoughtfully and earnestly (and painfully?) poured out through a carefully crafted form. The danger of formalism is real. Prayers and sermons that are read from a manuscript are usually stiff and unnatural and artificial.

But the danger of spontaneity is also great. If the heart is without passion, it will produce lifeless, jargon-laden spontaneity. And if the heart is aflame, no form will quench it.

But not only is spontaneity no necessary advantage and form no necessary hindrance to deep, personal expression of feeling, but even more, formed affection often strikes deeper. Deeper into reality and deeper into the hearer. Formed grief, while not heaving to and fro with uncontrollable sobs, has a peculiar profundity.

Imagine a man's response when he first hears that his wife and children have been taken captive by the enemy and slaughtered. He throws himself to the ground, cries out in torment, rips his clothes, and rubs his head in ashes, until his energy ebbs into a pitiable "No, no, no." Here is utter spontaneity, utterly real emotion, no studied design, no conscious constraints.

But picture this man a week later, when the services are over and the friends have departed, and he is alone with the weight of his loss. The excruciating pain of the first blast is gone, and now there is the throb and ache of an amputated soul. What does he do to express this deep and settling grief? Between the periodic heaving sobs he reaches for a form and begins to make his lamentation.

Studied, crafted, pondered, full of power. When the time comes, he will read or recite this lamentation. But no one will say of this formed grief: "It is canned." On the contrary, it will strike deeper than the sobs. It will show more of what he has brought up from the depths.

Emotions are like a river flowing out of one's heart. Form is like the riverbanks. Without them the river runs shallow and dissipates on the plain. But banks make the river run deep. Why else have humans for centuries reached for poetry when we have deep affections to express? The creation of a form happens because someone feels a passion. How ironic, then, that we often fault form when the real evil is a dry spring.

Years ago I wrote a poem called "The Innkeeper," about the pain that the innkeeper may have experienced when Herod's soldiers came to kill the baby boys and started the slaughter at the innkeeper's place-"the price for housing the Messiah here." In the introduction I pondered why poets struggle to let deep emotion flow through narrow forms of art.

Why this struggle? Why does the poet bind his heart with such a severe discipline of form? Why strain to give shape to suffering? Because Reality has contours. God is who He is, not what we wish or try to make Him be. His Son, Jesus Christ, is the great granite Fact. His hard sacrifice makes it evident that our spontaneity needs Calvarylike discipline. Perhaps the innkeeper paid dearly for housing the Son of God. Should it not be costly to penetrate and portray this pain?2

Many pastors are not known for expressing deep emotions. This seems to me especially true in relation to the profoundest theological realities. This is not good, because we ought to experience the deepest emotions about the deepest things. And we ought to speak often, and publicly, about what means most to us, in a way that shows its value.

Brothers, we must let the river run deep. This is a plea for passion in the pulpit, passion in prayer, passion in conversation. It is not a plea for thin, whipped-up emotionalism. ("Let's all stand up and smile!") It is a plea for deep feelings in worthy forms from Godbesotted
hearts and minds.

1. F. F. Bruce, In Retrospect: Remembrance of Things Past (Grand Rapids, Mich.: Wm. B. Eerdmans Publishing Co., 1980), 304.

2. John Piper, The Innkeeper (Wheaton, Ill.: Crossway Books, 1998)

Used by permission of Broadman & Holman Publishers. Excerpted from "Brothers We Are Not Professionals," copyright 2002 by John Piper.

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Lessons from a lost MasterCard

I have recently started devouring John Piper's Taste and See: Savoring the Supremacy of God in All of Life. This collection of brief daily meditations has proven to be a treasure chest of encouragement, conviction, and reminders of God's merciful faithfulness. Pastor John's hope at the beginning of the book is, "...if this book is seen on the bedside table of some battle-weary saints, I hope the reason they give is, 'Because I love to sweeten my mouth with the supremacy of God before I go to sleep.'" That has truly become the ministry of this book to my heart, and I wanted to share this reading, which actually comes from the very beginning. May it encourage all of you as it did me.

~*~

Lesson From a Lost MasterCard
"Cast All Your Anxieties on Him Because He Cares for You"

I used to carry a MasterCard for identification and rare, unforeseen expenses. Noel and I quit using it for regular purchases after the personal finance seminar at our church that exposed our own foolish habits with credit. That solved the problem of overspending our monthly budget. We use checks and cash for everything now.

So we know how much we have spent before the horrible reckoning at the end of the month. But I still carried it. Then I took it to California on vacation and lost it--and I had no idea where. It could have been in the seal show at Sea World. It could have been in the fruit shop in Tijuana where the bees covered the watermelon. It could have been in who knows how many McDonald's or on the beach in Coronado, where the sand really is gold and the condos sell for half a million dollars. (We were swimming, not shopping.) I had no idea where it was.

But the wonderful thing is that I felt no worries. Now, mind you, that's not natural for me. I am by nature a pessimist, and under ordinary circumstances I would have concluded that someone had already charged the limit on my card. I would usually have gotten mad at myself or my family and taken out my frustration on everybody. I would have looked hard for some divine purpose in all the trouble and had an awful time being happy.

But this time it was different. I felt no worries at all. I didn't get angry with anyone. I never felt any frustration. I was happy the whole way through. What a victory! The whole time it was lost I went about my business as usual, trusted God, and loved my family.

And when I got back from vacation, there it was in an envelope. Daniel Fuller, my friend and former professor, had mailed it to me from California. I had dropped it in his car.

Do you know what the secret to my happiness was? I never knew I had lost the card until I saw it in the envelope in Minneapolis.

I stood there holding it in my hand and smiling. Just think of how feisty I might have been if I had known I lost it. Think how depressed and worried and angry and frustrated and irritable I might have been. And the whole time the card was safely on the way to Minneapolis. All my anger and frustration and discouragement would have been absolutely pointless.

Now, is there not a lesson in this? There is for me. It's this: As soon as we discover we have a problem, God has already been working on it and the solution is on its way.

I have seen it happen again and again in my life. A letter arrives with the solution to some problem. But just the day before I had been discouraged and downcast, not knowing that the letter was already in the mail.

If we believe in the God of Romans 8:28, we will always remember that by the time we know a problem exists, God has already been working on it and His solution is on the way. Ponder the eagerness of God to work for us. "From of old no one has heard or perceived by the ear, no eye has seen a God besides thee, who works for those who wait for him" (Isaiah 64:4, RSV, emphasis added). "The eyes of the Lord run to and fro throughout the whole earth, to show his might in behalf of those whose heart is blameless toward him" (2 Chronicles 16;9, RSV, emphasis added). "Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me (literally: pursue me) all the days of my life" (Psalm 23:6).

That is what was happening before I knew I had a problem. And that is what God is doing all the time for those who trust Him. Of course, the point here is not that God spares His people trouble. And all of us know that a lost credit card is the least of our worries in a world of suffering like ours. The lost credit card is merely a parable of much greater things. They will not always turn out the way we think is best. But that does not mean God is not at work. He is always at work. And He is turning all our losses and all our pains into something good for us as we trust Him. This is His promise.

Therefore, fret not. Cast all your anxieties on Him. They are as unnecessary as mine would have been for the lost MasterCard. The time will come when you will see the wise and loving point of it all. By faith live in that moment now, even before you know.

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Hiatus and playlists

hiatus

/hiaytss/

noun (pl. hiatuses) a pause or gap in continuity.

— ORIGIN Latin, ‘gaping’.



Many of you may have noticed that I have taken an unexplained vacation from my blog lately. There were many reasons for this, not least of which was an over-abundance of homework recently, as well as a flurry of activity getting ready to welcome with joy and open arms these two:


Our visit was wonderful, our soon-to-be addition to the family is delightful, and we were thrilled to spend time with both of them. The house was indeed quiet after they left...


Now life is back to "normal" (whatever that means!), but still as busy as ever. I do hope to continue to maintain my blog, though it might be abbreviated at times, especially during the next seven weeks as I finish out my current set of classes before summer arrives.

In the meantime, I have a question for those who read. I am in the process of putting together a playlist for two very special people, and I need advice. Perhaps it would help to give a general idea of what I have so far:

- Theme from The Last of the Mohicans
-
"For the Love of a Princess": Braveheart soundtrack
- "Elan" by Secret Garden
- "The Promise" by Secret Garden
- "Dawn": Pride and Prejudice soundtrack
- "Mrs. Darcy": Pride and Prejudice soundtrack
- "Gumption": The Holiday soundtrack
- "Minor Swing": Chocolat soundtrack
- "Elysium/Honor Him/Now We Are Free": Gladiator soundtrack
- Theme from The Notebook
-
"River Flows in You" by Yiruma
- Theme from Forrest Gump


So mostly soundtrack songs thus far, with a few other random things thrown in. Any suggestions for more additions? I'd like it to stay within this same general genre/style.

~*~

Enjoy the first days of spring! May God's goodness abound to you all.

Living life Coram Deo,
Genevieve